41

 I'm 41.

That number seems strange coming out of my mouth. 

I sometimes feel 16. I have children older than I feel. Strange, isn't it?

I find that I'm different though, than I was at 16. Or even 30.

*I laugh differently now. It's fuller, richer. It's intentional, earned.

*I make decisions differently now. They're selective.

*I dream differently now. They're focused and made with an almost urgency.

*I pray differently now, too. It's honest and raw. 

 

Why did it take so long to turn 41? To be here? 

I needed this at 20. At 28. At 33. 

I needed who I am, who I've become, who I'm becoming. 

It's funny, growing up. 

Just when you think you're done, you realize you're really just starting.

The world is too large to know, the people so different. You can never finish learning. Trying. Growing. 

I'm 41 today. Should the Lord allow, I hope to be more alive each day, growing more alive the older I grow. 

Here's to growing. Here's to living. Here's to learning. 

Here's to 41.

Blessings,

Rebecca